Dear Mr PM,
I think you do not need to worry about India’s nuclear capabilities any more. Every so often Daddy reads in the papers that you and some other people are worried about the results of the Pokhran tests and about Pak’s nuclear capabilites. Mommy and Daddy think that I might have found the perfect solution to nuclear and bio warfare.Why just this morning looked at me from afar, held their breath and exclaimed in unision “Aaahgh. Nuclear! Toxic waste! Honey, please check if he pooped”.
They both stayed away from me for quite a while. Almost afraid of me.
Then very very carefully Mommy took me in to the bathroom – ps have I told you how much I loooove the bathroom? Its my most favourite place in the house! Dunno why Mommy and Daddy dont let me play there! Mommy undid my diaper and almost fainted. She’d asked Daddy to stay on standby just in case she didnt make it out of the bathroom with me. But my brave Mommy. She managed just fine. She held her breath and wrinnkled her nose and looked the other way while cleaning up my ‘nuclear waste’, choking and gagging but never letting go of me as I wriggled up and down. Thankfully, we both made it out of the bathroom safely.
The nuclear diaper was wrapped and thrown away eventually. But the bathroom has been declared a contaminated zone till further notice.
I just thought I’d write to you and let you know about all this. I could consider sharing my nuclear secret with you if you’re interested.
Lots of love,
[Disclaimer: This is a humour piece. No offence meant to India, Pak, the PM, the nuclear program or anyone else!]