I’m not really big on ceremonies and poojas. Especially since I left my parents home – a good 13 years ago. But now I’m suddenly going all soft. I *want* to do something. Some celebrations, some ceremony – for Goosh. So that he gets to know the festivals and their significance. I dont want the festivals to be ‘just another holiday’ for him. I want to set up some traditions for him. So I rack my brain.. and some more.. but nothing comes up.
At my parents, we’d dress up and go to the temple for every festival. Mom would make some special food. For Dushera, we kids would make a Ravan efigy, stuff it with crackers, and jump in glee as it went up in smoke. And put up flower garlands at the door. No elaborate pooja or rituals or anything.
I felt a twang of dunno what – emptiness – as neighbours, friends, colleagues recounted all the pooja preperations and the cooking they were upto.
So we celebrated in our own little way. I made poori and aloo and halwa for lunch on Sunday itself – coz our company wanted to be the only one open today ie on Dushera day! Am no great cook, but me thinks it worked out fine. HD and I gobbled up enough pooris to feed an army. And Goosh was thrilled with the Halwa.
Today we just read out a lil pooja together – while Goosh squirmed and jumped around and tried to dislodge the temple – and put tikka on our laptops, the cars. And HD cooked pasta for dinner – yay!!!!!!!
Simple. No fuss.
Am wondering if this really counts as a celebration? Or a tradition? This is so NOT the way I want Goosh to remember these festivals.
Any thoughts?
How do you celebrate festivals? Especially those of you dislodged from your ‘native’ places, your family; those of you caught up in never ending jobs and too little family time?
i just try and do what u did… seriously sometimes I sit and think if its right but then there is no point starting a tradition which we probably cant continue for long…
i try to make it special in small ways thats it… food is surely the highlight
PS: so how was the pasta
YUMMY!
I hereby hand over all pasta making to Hubby!
God, this is exactly what I’ve been going through. Ganpati and Diwali used to be so big in India for our family but its nothing here. I too feel Rian needs to “know” these things. I’m thinking of bringing him to India when he’s ~5, during Ganpati/Diwali festivals. Moms are still traditional, so hopefully he can get a glimpse of it all.
We try to make up in some way though: we go for Dandia almost every year, but its mostly associated with the fun, and not so much with Pooja and food.
So glad you could make it for Dandiya.
How did Rian like it?
you know.. its been years.. but I still miss hostel Dandiya sooooooo much. I’ve tried out a few other Dandiya’s.. but nothing comes close. Maybe it was just those college days, the friends..
Last year, i didnt go for dandiya coz goosh was about to pop out anytime
And this year.. well, wanted to go.. but it just didnt work out.
Rian was too sleepy when we reached @ 10pm
but enjoyed his new dress and all of us drooling over him looking too cute. Here are photos from this year:
(read: 3 months) http://picasaweb.google.com/mamatad/Dandiya2008?authkey=r2WwLla79fo
http://picasaweb.google.com/mamata.desai/SEFDandia2009?authkey=Gv1sRgCLzx1emT3fWZCw
Some photos from last year when Rian was teeny weeny
WOW. Rian looks sooo cute in that dress! And looks like you have a full gwal toli ready !
Im also not a very ‘pooja person’ and the husbie lets me be, but with my son in the picture now, I also want to do something so he will know the significance etc..
so what we generally do is, dont go all out and celebrate a festival the way it was done when we were kids, but tone it down a lot to suit the current situation we are in.. just enough for lil chotu to understand that its a special day..
ya. we’re all turning back to traditions in our own ways. little ways. doing what we can. so that the kids also get to see and know that part of their culture.
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I’ve also realized that the traditions of my childhood don’t get the same fanfare as they did. The fact that you are making an effort is sure to stand out in his mind as he grows up.
Nice post! We’ve toned down or jacked up the celebrations according to our current beliefs (or disbeliefs!) and lifestyle! I think it’s ok…I know that I can’t neglect my kids to do an elaborate pooja…parenting is worship…to me:)
Here’s how we toned down Janmashtami this time…and it still turned out ok! http://stars-inmy-eyes.blogspot.com/2009/08/do-you-have-to-lose-your-religion.html
I so agree with you Starry. Parenting is worship
I think as we go along, we’ll create our own celebrations and our own traditions as a family. As for religion, I’d want Goosh to have a respect and tolerance for all religions and beliefs. I’d like him to learn and know about each one. And then to imbibe or follow whichever parts of each that resonate with him.
Living in a nuclear family and being a working mom, I think its been very difficult for me to do any poojas or do anything that brings my kid an awareness about it. I regret that but this Dusshera, I went to a bookshop and got two amazing books, one on Ganesha and the other on Krishna. Both had the most beautiful illustrations. They were expensive but I didnt care about that. I want my son to understand about his religion and respect all religions. I think our generation of parents will bring together a new generation of kids who love their religion and respect those of others too.
Every night, my kid and I go through a story of Krishna or Ganesh and I think creating that awareness itself is the first step forward because so many festivals as we see it celebrated in metros now, are about showing off, keeping up with the Joneses or purely commercial or artificial. If we can, within our limitations, help our kids to understand why we are celebrating with these beautiful stories that our grandparents taught us, maybe there’s still a lot of goodness we can hope for.
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